Lost

I have had horrible nightmares for the last five days.  I don't want to go to sleep anymore and I'm too tired to do anything.  I'm so depressed.  I don't know what to do anymore.  I've lost everything and it doesn't feel like anything is getting any better.  In all of the mess with my boyfriend and with my parents and with everything else I've lost all of my friends, even my dog.  I took a way yesterday and threw my ring into the river because it reminded me of J. and of mum.  I don't want to think about either of them.  Then I watched the water and wished I could just go in too.  I've gotta figure things out.  I can't keep going like this.  I'm so tired of feeling like this.  I'm so tired of all of it.  I have nothing to look forward to anymore.  I'm just a just a broken mess that nobody wants in their life anymore.